EULOGIES

Eulogy for Quay Ah Chai

I know Quay as a humble, gentle and caring friend. When I was first diagnosed with Parkinson disease, he was very encouraging to me. He related to me his initial challenges and how he managed his condition. Through him, I learned to handle my situation. We got along very well and he unselfishly introduced me to all his golf buddies. The good old days were spent golfing and dining together. As our condition deteriorated we cut down on the social activities but we remain connected. Enid and I enjoyed having him in our social gatherings during which he shared stories of his colourful childhood days. They were so hilarious. Sadly going to miss those times.

We share the same faith and we always looked forward to Monday evening for the BSF study. His condition had never let him down and I admired him for that. He exuded a kind of strength that only our loving Father can give. I felt at peace in his company. He was always on the lookout for my safety whenever we were together although he himself needed as much support. Once while trying to help me, he lost his balance and both of us hit the floor. I am going to miss him greatly. However, I believe that this is only temporary because in Christ Jesus we will meet again.

My deepest condolences to Rita and the family.

May you rest in peace my brother. You are in a better place where there is eternal joy and no more pain and suffering.

- Robert B K Ong

Memories from the Hometown

I was just a little kid, 6 years old, when I first knew Quay Ah Chai. He was one of many sons of the towkay, Quay Thang. My family rented a wooden house in the kampong that bore that name, so he must have been a big-shot. When Quay Senior died, his funeral was the biggest event that I had ever seen in my younger days. The men of the Quay clan were a respected and authoritative bunch.

Many years later, Quay Ah Chai started to spend time around my family. That was when we understood he had his eye on my second sister, Rita. The young Rita was the most beautiful girl for miles around, with almost perfect features and a sexy little mole above her lips. Then Chai and Rita spent their Form 5 days “studying together” to prepare for their OSC (Overseas School Certificate) Exam. Naturally, they underperformed in that Exam.

Chai was true and eventually married Rita in November 1971. At his wedding, we had the first taste of a “hot-headed” young Chai. As was (and still is) the custom, the bridesmaids played games and tricks with the new bridegroom when he came to fetch his bride from her house. They hid Chai’s shoe and bargained for ang-pows. That was overdone and Chai got cross. It was a shock to all present when Chai stormed off, WITHOUT his new bride!! A delegation had to be sent to pester him to return and made sure he attended his Wedding Dinner that night!

The young Quay Ah Chai was a dynamic personality, with a boisterous voice and a powerful presence. He was well suited to his occupations; I recall a steel factory and later Monsanto. He was the super salesman, a great hit with his customers and he established a strong rapport with them. In work, he had to travel to the oil palm and rubber plantations which were mostly out-of-state.

After one night of dinner and drinks with his customers, he was driving back to Klang. He told us his car suddenly lost all the forward gears and only had the reverse gear! So what to do? It was 20 more kilometres to home ! Well, he turned the car around to face KL and drove home on “reverse” gear!! As his car was facing the wrong direction, all the other cars were honking at him and yelling “Hoi, Bodoh!” ( Hey, Stupid!) . And he got home safely! He said he had a stiff neck for weeks after that! Whether it was true or Chai made it up, we never knew! But it was good laugh!!

Another great story was this. Chai and his friends had gone to Genting Highlands for a spot of casino action. Then on the way home, they found that their car had poor brakes. That was really bad as we all know that the road from Genting was downhill all the way. So apparently, they drove down really slowly on first gear and nearly made it! But as it approached the Gombak Toll Booth, it was still too fast! So according to Chai, all of them opened their car doors and slowed the car down further by putting their legs out using their shoes, so-called foot brakes!! Quay Ah Chai was always big on stories and the centre of our laughs and attention!

Behind the big and tough exterior was a warm, loving and gentle giant. Even at an early point of his life, he wanted a lot more for his children than what he could do for them here in Malaysia. So, he made his plans to migrate! Why to New Zealand? It is a very cold country with a chilling winter! It will be hard for Rita, what to do? So, he laid out his groundwork, meticulously. He put aside the money to serve as his investment and the start of a new life for his children. He developed his business plan and made the contacts to support its viability. And he had to endure the arduous verification of his plans by authorities. Then when the time came, he had to put those plans into action. I am sure the early days were tough days. I don’t know enough to write about those times but there must have been great sacrifices for each member of the family. Perhaps they can fill in the blanks to this story.

I know that Rita had a hard time migrating as she was very, very close to Mum and Dad having lived within 500 metres of our house for 20 years. She was their first and closest point of call for any distress. Rita’s care for Dad after his motor accident was definitely beyond “the call of duty”! I was so proud of her!

I know personally how much Chai misses Klang! Because each time he came back, he always had a full programme! Every day, he had a lunch spot AND a dinner appointment with some relative or a friend! I had to book several days ahead to get a slot to see him. It was like that! His favourite food was “Bah Kut Teh” and on some days that was for both lunch and dinner! Chai relished these functions and came back quite often, and even one time without Rita. But no matter, he was well taken care of! So when you think about him making the decision to leave Klang for New Zealand, that call must have been very, very hard to make!

As I wrote elsewhere, Chai’s immensely huge sacrifice has paid off! His family has now a secure future. Each of them is a successful professional with loving families of their own. And every one of them inheriting the rich DNA of Quay Ah Chai – intelligent, responsible, caring, lively, family-loving!

I am fortunate to be a part of his family, to see him raise his family, to see him grow in his life and to see his family grow ever so beautifully. My Brother Chai, you have lived a wonderful life! You have touched our lives in many exceptional ways. We will miss your laughter, your voice, your presence!

REST IN PEACE BROTHER!

- Mah Teck Oon, Brother-in-law